Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst

All right, first of all, just let me say that I'm writing this as an outsider. As such, I can only base my opinion from that perspective. I know that there really are some great things that have come from the US, and hopefully many more great things will come. I know that there are lots of amazing people the, Americans with wondrous minds and ideas. I know that the US was based from a grand and amazing idea. I know all this... Which is why, when having followed the presidential campaigns and seeing the results of the voting I can't help but ask...

What the actual fuck, America?!

Granted, the media might or might not have been reporting from a biased angle, and not everything that is said and done reaches outside the US borders, but come on! You have just elected a man who, in my opinion at least, personifies everything I utterly dislike and despise about your otherwise kinda ok country and people? The media is good, but not so good as to fabricate pure, vocal proof, spoken from the candidates own mouth and caught on recordings. Your president-elect is, from my point of view, the very epitome (this word I use with heavy sarcasm and fully aware of its, in this case, twisted meaning) of the ignorance; bigotry; sheer overdone opulence and decadence; lack of any semblance of common sense; comically pathetic self-importance and overblown ego (that still to this day, and despite statistics and global research, continues to claim that the USA is the greatest country in the world) and utter, would-be-hilarious-if-not-so-obviously-real idiocy that is the main reasons I have never, even once, felt that the USA is a country I could ever even think of visiting, much less living in.

To still, to this day, claim that the US is the great, in some instances the greatest, despite massive evidence to the opposite strikes me as particularly sad and comical at the same time. The land of the free? And yet the USA is within the top three when it comes to prison population. Freedom is not something invented and trademarked in the US, it's been, and is still being, heavily practised in a majority of the world's population. Your overblown belief in the right for every person to own guns, and the way you, like children losing their toys, are crying in outrage as soon as someone proposes to limit that "right". Haven't you heard the saying: Violence only sparks more violence? It's a never ending circle. How many people in your country have been killed because of all the firearms? How many deaths could've been avoided if the access to those same have been more restricted. Sure, we have our problems here in Europe as well, but we've have strict restrictions on guns for a very long time, and yet our statistics for death by firearms are way below yours, as well as, at least so far, our crime rates.

I once heard an American acquaintance say that Obama has completely ruined America for the outside world. I belong to the outside world but, sorry, I can't see it. In fact, when Obama was elected it was the first in a very long time that I felt hope that America was headed on the right track, towards a more humane and sensible path. That hope was, sadly, utterly crushed when I heard the election results. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't much of a fan of Hillary Clinton either. I understand you had a difficult task ahead of you, choosing between two evils, two quite unsuitable and unfit candidates. But still, why did everyone pay more attention to her emails (a stupid and careless mistake to be sure, but also very likely something she'd never do again) than to Trump's disgusting, chauvinist, ignorant and utterly fact-resistant shortcomings, the pure bullshit he spewed out at every given chance? Really, America, one mistake, which, so far, doesn't seem to have caused all that much trouble, weighed against a whole campaign of kicking on those already having a hard time, advocating a giant leap back in time, far from the progress made in these last few years? I'm utterly baffled, I tell you...

Anyway, since the choice has been made I can only hope against all hope that the candidate you have chosen was just playing it up for the crowd rather than actually being as dumbass ignorant as he seemed. Or, as the band Alphaville sings in "Forever young", I'm "hoping for the best, but expecting the worst". Hoping, because, much as I hate to admit it, what happens in the US doesn't stay in the US. If your choice fucks up your country, it will most likely send shockwaves that might affect the lives of billions of people who didn't get to have a say in your election.

So, good luck, mr. Trump, please don't fuck us all over.

Comeback: reflections of a truly disturbed mind...

Long time no see. I really am the worst at keeping up with blogging but now I've got some thoughts to share that just won't accept not being penned down here...

Today I was once again reminded of the general ignorance among people around me. My office is right next to the break room so I can hear pretty much anything that’s said in there. Today I heard a colleague express such ignorance and unwillingness to even try to think differently that it shocked me to the core. This person is someone whom I generally do respect and whom, in addition, is in a position where they should be a support to everyone who works in our workplace. And yet this person was sitting there talking in a somewhat exasperated, derogatory way about LGBT and Pride-festivals. The quote that shook me the most was this:

“They [the ones participating in Pride-festivals] say they want to be considered normal, but if that’s so, why are they doing things with guys [if they’re guys themselves]?” 

That statement was made with the full assumption that hetero is to be considered the only normal, everything else is abnormal. Sadly that seems to be the opinion anti- (or even just neutral-) LGBT people likes to nurture the most. In that instance I really wanted to just shoot out of my office chair, run out and blatantly ask that person if their head was screwed on right. But I lost my chance, being stuck doing some actual work. Either way, it got me thinking. Why is it that hetero is “normal” to the point that no one even questions the assumption that that is to be the norm?  

Looking at mythology and history, they’re riddled with stories about same sex relationships. Alexander the Great was reported to have male lovers; Achilles had his Patroclus, not to mention the whole tradition of Japanese Shudo. The last one is, by the way, believed to have been inspired by homosexuality in ancient China, where it was, according to Wikipedia (and hopefully other, more reliable sources) fairly common until the mid-1800s when Western culture began to change the mindsets.  

Anyway, what do the examples above have in common? All of them were pre-Christianity and pre-Islamic. And the conclusion then is? Yeah, that’s right. Heterosexuality as “normal” is something we have been brainwashed to believe because of organized religion.  

I live in a country where religion typically doesn’t have a particularly strong hold any longer. And yet, outdated, bigoted Christian beliefs and doctrines are still very much alive and kicking up trouble. Those doctrines and whatnot were “penned” down during a period of time where procreation was more or less a matter of sheer survival. We don’t have that problem any longer, one could even argue it’s quite the opposite today, really. And yet those old misconceptions still linger on, causing lots of heart ache, persecution, pain and sheer misunderstandings to a lot of people. It truly saddens me. And, to be honest, I doubt I’ll ever be able to see my colleague the same way from now on, knowing that they, too, are victims of age-old bigotry that serves no practical purpose in today’s society.

A rollercoaster year coming to an end

I\ve noticed several of my friends doing this so I thought I'd also do a small summary of a year made up of incredible highs as well as heartbreaking lows.

2013 has been a stable year, work-wise. I love my job and even though I know it's going to end someday (it's just a filling in for someone else, after all) it's been fulfilling and has helped me a long way on the road to figuring out how I want the rest of my working life to be. Of course, after all those years living from day to day while studying, it's also been really nice to have a steady income.

Relationship-wise, as pertaining to human relationships, nothing much has changed. I'm still one of those lucky people who are blessedly surrounded by awesome friends and family, both in real life and  online. I don't think I could ever express the gratefulness I feel towars those people who are there to cheer me on in good times and support me during the times I suffer. I sometimes wonder if I manage to properly convey what they mean to me, but I hope they know even though I'm not the best at expressing myself.

The importance of their existence has been made especially clear to me during the low points of this year. Without all the wonderful people around me I have no idea how I would've gotten through the losses I've suffered. I probably would've gone mad with grief.

My beloved dog has also been a great source of strength ( as well as the lovely, but oh so haughty, cats). During this year my darling Dalmatian has really grown. She and I have had a lot of fun in the rings at various dog shows, something we plan on enjoying during this upcoming year as well. On top of that we have started to work seriously on learning how to track, and hopefully one day we might even get to a point where we can be of help finding lost people. I'm thinking that if I was lost and scared in the woods or on the mountain I'd surely cheer up if I suddenly saw an overjoyed, spotted bundle of joy coming arund the corner or over the crest with this expression like: "Oh, there you are! You have no idea how much I've been waiting to get to know you and how happy I am to see you!!"

Now, there are so many good things that has happened to me this year I simply can't come up with a good way to mention all of them.

However, despite all the good things I'm afraid what 2013 most will mean to me is as the year when I lost two of my most beloved babies.

My beloved cat, Frida, came to me from a rescue home in 2007. She was an itty bitty little thing who at first had no idea how to behave gently with humans. No wonder since humans hadn't exactly treated her well before she was rescued. Believed to have been taken too early from her mother she didn't quite seem to know how to clean herself up at first. Good thing my old lady, Vinnie, was around to show her the ropes of personal grooming. And then abandoned in a closed down area of summer houses to fend through the winter on her own, which she, thankfully did. no wonder she was a bit defensive at first. However, it didn't take her long to find her security and turn into the most cuddly, loving little cat I've ever had the great honour and fortune to have in my life. Unfortunately she was diagnosed with chronical kidney failure in 2008. Still, she was an incredible fighter with a will to live like no one else. With the help of nothing more than some specialised feeding she stayed healthy and strong, fighting admirably for five whole years. Then, during the summer of this departing year, she finally lost the fight and with her went a piece of my heart. She is someone I' ll never forget, this little (barely 2,5 kg when healthy) cat that has had such a huge impact on my heart. I will always miss her, feeling as if my family isn't complete without her. But I will also always be grateful for those wonderful six years during which she showed me that love has nothing to do with the size of your body or what the start of your life was like.

And then this year is also the year I lost my beloved, beautiful boy, Gullbarr. I fell in love with this gentle-eyed, mischievous horse at first glance, that sunny late summer day in 2002. That day when I went to Solvalla where he was currently staying to an injured leg. I'll never forget that day for as long as I live. It was very much like what you might read in one of those teen books about a girl and her horse. My infatuation with him has remained just as strong and wondrous during the almost 11 years we got. Together we have experienced a lot of fun things, learnt a lot and just had an amazing time. I have never, and probably never will, meet a horse with a bigger or more fantastic personality in my life. He was, as I usually say, my once in a lifetime love. All the times he has made me laugh with his antics and mischief, even during times I'd wanted nothing more than to cry... And all the times he has just stood there, gently breathing, while I've cried my heart out with my face buried in his soft mane... To me, he was never just a horse, he was a person, a friend and a very important family member. Sadly, during spring of 2013 he got a limp which simply wouldn't go away, despite everything I tried. So we went to the horse clinic, apx. some 25 Swedish miles from our hometown. X-rays showed arthritis and since he was 23 and the arthritis was labeled chronically deforming the veterinary said nothing could be done, that it was best to give him one last summer and then put him to sleep. So, crying and bleeding within, I did as suggested. My boy got four wonderful months on pasture with a great friend and obviously didn't suffer any at all (he even held races with his pal in the pasture). Then, on Oct 4th, a mere month before we would celebrate our 11th anniversary I said good bye to one of the most amazing personalities I've ever had the joy of knowing. There will never be another person like him in my life and, knowing this, I have also taken the decision to making that day, Oct 4th, the day I also said good bye to the life with horses.

From now on I will focus on my remaining cats and my dog, always holding those wonderful beloved ones, who are hopefully having an amazing time waiting for me on the other end of the Rainbow bridge, close to me.

So, with that said, I hope 2014 will become a better year in terms of my heart.

To end this I just want to wish everyone who takes the time to read this far an amazing new year, hopefully with many great friends, both two- and four legged, and many laughs and smiles.

Happy New Year!

I need a post-vacation vacation

Summer... and my first paid vacation ever. Three weeks of having nothing to do but laze around, play with the dog, maybe go out for a jog or ten. No worrying about money or a summer job. Ah, what a feeling... Living the dream.

As for reality it's a whole different bitch fest of a ballgame.

It started out with me deciding, at the very last moment, to journey the 1300 km south to visit my mother in Stockholm. Said and done, I packed my car, realised that my splendid idea of fitting XX bags and luggage into the car together with three cats and a lively hyperactive disorder disguised as a spotted dog was doomed from the start. So my journey began with the baggage area filled to bursting, three cats in their carriers taking up most of the back seat and a restless Dalmatian in the front passenger seat. The dog decided she really couldn't stand for riding in the car unless she got much more space than she actually needed so I had to stop a few miles from home to tilt the back rest as far back as possible just so she would stop fidget and go to sleep. In the meantime two out of three cats were holding an a capella concert in the back seat while the third was most likely plotting the gruesome murders of all the rest of us. On top of that the petrol pay card suddenly turned up empty, despite having been checked the day before. So I had no idea whether I'd even make it the full stretch to Stockholm. Either way, the last issue was solved along the way, thank goodness. We reached our stop for the night, got our cabin, where I found out one of the cats had decided that his carrier really was a good substitute for a litter box, and then me and the dog took off for a visit to my sister. Part of the luggage was, thankfully, safely delivered into my sister's hands, enabling me to change the seating arrangements for the second stretch of the journey.

The second stretch then... I thought it was such a brilliant idea to let the dog share the back seat with my luggage while the cats could frolic around, including using their real litterbox, outside their carriers in the baggage area, which was separated from the rest of the car by a lattice. Foolishly I forgot that cats are the original contortionists so in the end I had one cat sleeping happily on the floor at the front passenger seat and another getting stuck between the lattice and the car  in his attempts to do what the other one did. As if that wasn't enough I managed to hit the rush hour in Stockholm... *shudders*

Anyway, we finally reached the goal and I decided to take my twitchy dog for a walk to stretch her legs. It ended with her pulling too sharply, making me stumble into a hole and fracturing some toes. My grand ideas of long walks and jogging were thus firmly thwarted. Thank god for the garden at my mothers house and specially made dog enclosures in the vicinity.

As if broken toes weren't enough the vacation then continued with two of my, normally indoor, cats managing to run off when my mother forgot a door to the outside open. One of them returned home that same day, being used to the area after having lived there as an outdoor cat for a few years. The other one had never been outside and only lived in my care for two weeks so to say I was worried would be a gross understatement. In the end he did return, almost a week later, apparently not much worse for wear and with a new taste for freedom... as long as it comes with a pristinely clean litter box and smelly wet cat food on a regular basis.

And in the middle of all this I noticed that the third cat, which suffers from a chronic kidney disease, was starting to look really bad. She's lost weight and started to smell awfully. So not wanting to travel with an obviously sick cat I decided to prolong my vacation in Stockholm from the original two weeks to three (thus cutting it uncomfortably close to when i start work again). My little one's got an appointment with the veterinary on Tuseday 23:rd. While I'm still hoping for the best I'm also firmly expecting the worst, and have pretty much steeled my heart to the fact that I'll probably have one cat less when I get home than when I left for my vacation.

But hey, at least the weather's been nice. In fact it's been so nice I'll be travelling home with itching skin due to sun blisters. I've also had a lot of fun with friends I haven't seen for years, apart from the fact that one such outing with friends gave me a sore neck due to a café chair breaking and med hitting my neck against a wooden bench, and I've gotten to spend some quality time with my dear mum.

Still, I'll be needing a vacation to recover from this year's vacation. At least there won't be much risk of getting sunburn and broken toes at work.

Mostly rollin' on fine

I thought it was about time to write something a little more upbeat than my usual cynicism-laced bitterness. And for once I actually do have some fun stuff to write about.

First of all, the living situation has vastly improved... because my work situation did. And that's where the fun stuff starts to happen.

In autumn 2012 I decided to send in an application for a job I was certain I wouldn't get. I didn't have the education for it, nor any previous experience working in that particular field. On the other hand, I really, really wanted the job since it would mean I'd get to work with graphic production and loads of other incredibly fun stuff. But, alas, no education beyond a very rudimentary course in newspaper layout...

So, yeah, I was fairly certain I wouldn't hear from them, other than maybe with a polite "Thank you for your application but...". Imagine my surprise (and, truthfully, crazed elation) when they suddenly called me and asked me to come in for an interview. I went, still convinced I wouldn't get the job, and the questions during the interview, on which many the answer was "no", didn't help me to feel better.

I'm mostly self-taught where graphic software is concerned, I've never actually had any opportunity or reason to learn how to prepare the graphics for print, it's been years since I'd worked with (the predecessor of) the software the job used. I was brutally honest during the interview, since I felt there wasn't any hope anyway. I left the office feeling odd... with the request that I come back the next day to do a sort of work test.

I returned the next morning, worked that whole day and then simply continued coming back for almost a week... and then one glorious day they smiled at me and told me they wanted me to stick around. Can you imagine? Getting the job you've always dreamed of, when you were certain it was never meant to be and that your chances were even worse than zero? And when you most desperately of all needed a job, any job?

I believe I more or less skipped home in happiness that day.

I've worked there for over 6 months now and man do I love it. It's most often to the point where I actually feel sorry when Friday rolls around and I realise there are two days in which I won't get to be at work. Won't get to meet my wonderful colleagues or joke around with what has to be one of the best bosses in the world.

And the job I do... My mum always used to frown at me playing around in Photoshop or other similar graphics software all the time. Well, now I get paid to spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week doing that very same thing. On top of that I've learnt how to work a vinyl cutting machine, print clothes and started to get a hang on the whole retail/profile thing. And, it bears to mention more than once, I've met some of the most amusing, amazing and warm co-workers ever.

The job is, however, a temporary position due to one of the work force going on maternity leave. So, unfortunately, it's only for a year or so. But by the end of that time I've gotten another piece of experience for my resume, it'll have increased my chances of getting another job doing the things I love and, most importantly, I've had the opportunity to experience what it really means to love your work and your colleagues so much you really don't feel like leaving for the weekend.

Oh, and then there's the housing situation. Thanks to me getting a temporary position for such a, relatively, long period, the landlord decided to give me permanent contract (without a set date for renewal of the contract, which was the case previously) on my apartment. So that piece of worry has also left.

In other news I've also gotten myself a dog (been more than 6 months since that though), a little Dalmatian girl who gives me ample reason to alternately smile, tear my hair, laugh like crazy and go all gooey and warm by looking at her. She's the dog with a capital D! And we've started to attend Dog Shows, which she's, so far, handled beautifully.

I've also gotten myself a new car, a sleek Subaru Outback, sold my darling Toyota to a close friend (whom I know will take good care of my baby) and sent the Volkswagen to car heaven. I've got a somewhat heavy loan on the new car, of course, but it's worth it.

All in all, life's pretty good right now :). Now, if only I could get to sleep on time and the little spotted one could eat when she's supposed to, most everything would be well on track. But, I guess you can't get everything in life... I mean, how then would I get my kicks with cynicism and bitterness?

Trygghet - en bristvara

Texten är skriven på min iPad så jag ber om ursäkt för eventuella konstigheter. Paddan och jag har ibland olika åsikter om vikten av möjligheten att gå tillbaka och ändra/korrigera i texten.

Just nu känner jag mig bitter och trött. Bostadsbolaget jag hyr lägenhet hos, ett kommunalägt bolag som omfattas av Allmännyttan, har riktigt udda kriterier för uthyrning.

För det första är det riktigt, riktigt svårt att ens få en lägenhet. Bostadsbristen på orten där jag bor, en ort som marknadsförs som "expansiv och attraktiv", är akut och har varit det under en lång tid. Visst byggs det nytt nu men hyrorna är rena fantasihyror. Eller vad sägs en tvåa på dryga 50 kvadrat, och inte särskilt centralt, för över 7000 kr i månaden. Eller lägenheter i nybyggda hyreshus som redan har börjat spricka i grunden för 7500 kr och uppåt i månaden?

Samtidigt är de gamla hyreshusen i dåligt skick med, på sina håll, gravt eftersatt underhåll.

Dessutom verkar det kommunala bostadsbolaget ha en väldigt konstig prioritering i hur lägenheter ska hyras ut. I första hand kommer de personer som kommer utifrån kommunen och har fått fast jobb. Fine, jag förstår att de vill få in mer folk till kommunen eftersom det på sikt är bra för hela området. Problemet är dock att de som har familj på orten eller redan är bosatta prioriteras bort. De får ingen bostad. I längden innebär det att de flyttar ut. Plus minus noll alltså.

Därutöver har det kommunala bolaget en hyrespolicy som innebär att man inte får ett fast hyreskontrakt om man inte har fast anställning eller en dokumenterat fast inkomst. Har man "bara" ett vikariat får man bara ett korttidskontrakt, till exempel.

Det har hänt mig. Jag fick ett vikariat på orten, flyttade upp och hade sju års kötid på lägenhet. Det tog mig närmare fyra månader att få en egen bostad, under tiden fick jag vara inneboende hos min bästa vän och hennes familj. När jag sedan äntligen fick en lägenhet försvann givetvis kötiden men kontraktet för bostaden löpte bara på tre månader, så länge som vikariatet var på. När jag sedan lyckades få ett annat vikariat så förlängdes kontraktet med ytterligare tre månader men inget mer.nu är det återigen dags för förnyelse av hyreskontraktet. Förra fredagen, 14 september och dag innan helgdag, fick jag hem ett brev i brevlådan. Där stod att hyreskontraktet måste förnyas senast 27 september. Om jag inte skulle bo kvar, eller om kontraktet inte förnyas, ska nycklarna till lägenheten lämnas in senast det nämnda datumet. Inte ens två veckors uppsägningatid, alltså. Redan i för förra omförhandlingen ifrågasatte jag deras policy. I dagens samhälle är det där med fast jobb, tillsvidareanställning, en raritet utan dess like. Arbetsgivarna använder ju även gärna vikariat och korttidsanställningar som ett sätt att initialt locka arbetskraft. Problemet som uppstår är att det bildas ett moment 22. Man vågar inte acceptera ett jobb om man inte kan känna sig säker på att man även har någonstans att bo. Men man får inte känna sig säker på att ha tryggheten i en bostad om man inte har ett jobb. Är det bara jag som tycker att det är otroligt snedvridet?

Nu är jag långtifrån den enda som påverkats av detta och eftersom jag fortfarande har kvar lägenheten i Umeå så finns den utvägen. Om jag tvingas lämna min bostad här på orten så flyttar jag tillbaka till Umeå. Denna kommun förlorar därmed en person i arbetsför ålder, som dessutom bedöms ha mycket goda möjligheter till längre anställning om en relativt kort tid, som kan och vill arbeta och betala skatt på orten. Då får Umeå kommun istället mina skattepengar

Andra som berörs har inte samma möjligheter. Det finns folk i min omgivning som är ensamstående föräldrar. När förhållant med deras sambo tagit slut eller de av annat skäl inte längre kan ha kvar just sin bostad har de inte fått tag i något nytt boende. De får flytta hem till sina släktingar, om de har turen att ha några på orten, oavsett hur trångbott det blir. Med andra ord blir de och deras barn, officiellt sett, hemlösa då de inte har någon egen bostad utan får förlita sig på släktingarnas välvilja. Antalet hemlösa barn i kommunen har, enligt vissa källor, tydligen ökat, något som går emot såväl kommunala som rikstäckande mål och lagar. Trots de riktlinjer som finns om trygghet och så vidare har dessa personer, när de ifrågasatt varför de, som har betalningsförmåga och inga anmärkningar, inte får hyra en bostad rent ut fått svaret att "Missbrukare och invandrare
/inflyttade får förtur". Varför det prioriteras så låter jag vara osagt i brist på personlig erfarenhet av sådana uttalanden.

Jag kan dock inte förstå hur det kan få vara så här, att ett kommunalt bolag kan sätta sådana kriterier och i princip diskriminera på ett sådant sätt. Vad har hänt med vårt samhälle när tryggheten mer och mer urholkas. Och varför kan inte kommunen, som så gärna vill vända trenden med stadigt minskande invånarantal, vakna upp och, som ägare av åtminstone ett bostadsbolag, inse att så som saker och ting ser ut just nu kommer avfolkningen fortsätta eller på sin höjd stanna upp. Nytt blod kommer utifrån men lika mycket försvinner då kommunens egna, etablerade invånare i princip tvingas söka trygghet på annat håll. På vilket sätt är detta ett recept för en expansiv och attraktiv kommun?

Artikelkommentarer och oförmågan att se bortanför tidningssidan

Det finns något som jag inte kan låta bli att förundras över... Det är artikelkommentarer. I mitt dagliga yrkesutövande stöter jag ofta på sådana som får mig att haja till. Det här inlägget, som handlar om just mina funderingar kring vissa som kommenterar, kommer att fokusera på huvudsakligen skriven journalistik, men läget är i stort detsamma inom radio och TV.

Jag kan inte låta bli att reagera över att det fortfarande tycks finnas folk som tror att artikeln de läser är en enmansproduktion. Att det finns folk som tror att journalister av idag är fria att skriva precis vad de vill, välja exakt vad de vill fokusera på i en text och hur mycket tid de har till att arbeta upp en artikel. De flesta journalister har inte den friheten över huvud taget. Det är en svår värld, journalistiken, fylld av överväganden, resonemang, tidsbrist och "måsten".

Jag förundras över att det fortfarande finns folk som är så blåögda att de inte inser att vad de ser när de öppnar tidningen är bara den färdiga produkten. De ser den färdiga texten med journalistens namn och tycks inte inse, eller inte vilja inse, att bakom varje text de läser finns det en mängd människor, diskussioner och tankar.

Journalisten är där, förstås, och intervjupersonerna.

Men där finns även redigerarna, vars jobb det är att se till så att texten är läsbar, inte bara rent stilistiskt utan många gånger även utförd i den form och på det sätt som behövs för tidningen. Deras namn skrivs aldrig ut och de är i stort väldigt anonyma, men de finns där och deras ingrepp i texterna kan ofta vara omfattande även om ingen som inte varit med under arbetets gång någonsin kan gissa sig till det. De ser bara den färdiga produktionen, trots allt, och har ingen aning om hur många versioner som skrivits, förkastats och förändrats. Redigerarna kan välja att helt ta bort delar av texten som inte fungerar, eller som bedöms vara för kontroversiella/ inte viktiga, och de kan även skriva om, ifall det bedöms nödvändigt.

Och där finns också nyhetschefen som oftast är den som bestämmer/godkänner vad journalisten ska fokusera på, som godkänner om det som skrivits är publicerbart/nyhetsvärt. Det är nyhetschefen som avgör hur snart texten måste vara inne (inte sällan samma dag, vilket ofta leder till att journalistens möjligheter för en nyanserad och väl underbyggd text minskar drastiskt och därför ofta innebär att man väljer den mindre kontroversiella vägen). Nyhetschefen värderar vad som är viktigt/passande att få ut och delegerar uppgifterna till journalisten.

Och sedan har vi, givetvis, den ansvarige utgivaren som, i slutänden, är den som godkänner om texten är ok eller inte. Och då pratar vi inte stilistiskt eller språkligt, utan innehållsmässigt. Det är den ansvarige utgivaren som till syvende och sist blir den som får ta smällen om något blir för kontroversiellt.

Nuförtiden finns även nästa dimension i betydligt högre grad och vikt än tidigare: finansiärerna. Hur gärna jag än skulle vilja att det var annorlunda så går det inte att komma undan: Även journalistiken är beroende av ekonomi.

Folk tycks dock inte inse att det inte är gratis att trycka en tidning eller producera ett inslag. Tekniken, pappret, trycksvärtan, distributionen, programmen som används. Allt kostar. Därtill kommer också lokalhyra, el, värme och vatten. En journalistisk produktion uppstår inte från tomma intet och, återigen oavsett hur gärna man skulle önska det, kan inte bara dyka upp i din morgontidning eller din radio eller i TV-rutan utan att en krona har spenderats.

I dagens läge är journalistiken inte sällan mer eller mindre beroende av medel som kommer från företagsinvesteringar eller staten, exakt samma som journalisterna är satta att granska. Idealiskt sett borde det inte spela någon roll i den större bilden, journalistikens roll borde inte få förändras. Men i verkligheten fungerar det inte så. Man kan vara idealistisk, man kan försöka att gå sin egen väg. Men i dagens värld är jag rädd att pengarna har fått en alltför stor plats och makt, även över dem som ska granska vårt samhälle. Det är ingen lätt balansgång, att göra sitt jobb, utföra sin journalistiska plikt och passion och samtidigt klara sig i denna värld.

Och sedan kommer folk, som tror att de vet allt om texten (trots att de, återigen, bara sett den färdiga versionen), och förfasar sig över osakliga journalister, över "köpta" eller "propagandapåverkade" journalister. Som uttalar sig som om de tror att de skulle ha gjort det bättre, som uttalar sig om vad som passar och vad som inte passar, som anklagar journalisterna för att blåögt eller ohederligt svälja företagens och politikernas sida av saken. Personer som tror sig känna journalisten och veta vad som pågått i dennes huvud under arbetet med texten.

Debatter är bra. Feedback är bra. Det hjälper journalistiken, och samhället, att utvecklas. Men samtidigt ska man vara medveten om att det är alldeles för lätt att tycka i efterhand, när texten redan är publicerad och "klar". Det är lätt att tycka när man själv inte har den minsta aning om vad som skedde på redaktionen, på journalistens block och dataskärm, via telefonlinjen eller i intervjusituationen under arbetets gång.

Det är helt ok att lämna artikelkommentarer, det är helt ok att vara kritisk. Men innan man sätter sig ner och börjar skriva och förfasa sig, ryta över "abrovinscher" och slänga ur sig anklagelser bör man ta ett djupt andetag och fråga sig:

"Vad vet jag egentligen om den här texten?"