Musings from the padded room

måndag 30 augusti 2010

I should've been born before technology

It's a bit of a standing joke within my family that I am pure death on technology. I barely have to touch my technological stuff (let alone actually turn it on and work on it) before it crashes, breaks, go bonkers or just plain annoys the hell out of me. And it always happens when I have the least financial abilities to correct it. Just a small list:

- I've bought 2 laptops within 2 years (the first one my mother bought and it held for a few years before the lid cracked, the second one met partial death by red wine and the third one is probably trying to find the most inopportune moment to crash any day now)
- I've reformatted them umpteen+ times,
- I've gotten close to getting on first-name basis with the support technicians at at least two different companies (I suspect I was close to being invited to their Christmas dinner too)
- I've bought in total 4 new cellphones in 6 years (one met death by eager puppy + very wet brook, one had a shitty battery in plastic casing and the clasp broke so the battery was loose, one just... went bonkers and started fucking things up + the keyboard became loose at least once a year. I'm just waiting for my new one to fuck things up)

Anyway, the reason I'm writing this right now is because I'm quite fed up. Today my external hdd (which I had lots of my favourite things on) decided not to boot up at all. I checked around, cold and clammy, worried that it was the hdd itself that had crashed. Turns out it seems to be the AC adapter, the green light on it just blinks, regardless of the type of power outlet I connect it to. Now, this might sound like a pretty easy problem to fix... if the HDD hadn't been 2+-3 years old and the AC adapter for it isn't common to find in electronics stores nowadays. The places I've found what seems to be a suitable replacement at lists the price at 250-400 SEK (apx. $34-$54). This might not sound like such a large sum in the bigger picture... unless you've got bills that takes over 75% of your total income and still want to buy food for both yourself and your (kidney sick) animals. Either way, I've got no choice in the long run. I'll have to live on noodles and oatmeal for a while. Can't skimp out on the cats food.

Anyway, as if that wasn't enough... my desk lamp, which has got these ridiculously small, strong lamps (not LED), decided to call it quits too. And of course I've used up all the spare lamps I bought when my economy was bit more decent.

So, in short... Tomorrow I need to go out and spend money I'd rather not spend because technology (I'd rather not bother with but have no choice but to bother with) fucked up again.

This joke about me and technology... it's so painfully true it's not even funny.

torsdag 26 augusti 2010

the End of the world/ Val 2010

It's depressing to listen to the news on the radio. Catastrophes, both natural and man-made, follow each other in what feels like a more and more rapid succession. If it's not tsunamis, earth quakes or floods, it's wildfires, major oil leaks or hurricanes. All of this makes me think. Is it that the amount of natural catastrophes (man-made ones were a fact ever since the beginning of man) in rapid succession are increasing? Or is it that we're just more aware of them nowadays?

To me it feels like our earth has finally had it with the abuse heaped upon it by the humans. Kind of like: "You drill me full of holes, you rob me of my oil. You cut down my forests, pollute my waters and air. You commit genocide on both yourselves and every other living organism in this world. And then you're chocked that I protest? Payback's a bitch, eh?".

The problem is that these natural disasters very seldom hit the ones most deserving of it. It seldom hits the rich company head quarters or the leading industrialized countries. The ones who, with their selfish and capitalising view of the world as their playground are the main reasons for why things are what they are today. No, instead it hits those that are already suffering from pretty much the same things as the earth itself. It hits Haiti, it hits Pakistan, it hits Chile, it hits the poor parts of China and so on. Where is this world headed when even earth itself is kicking on those that are struggling to stand up again? While the ones most deserving to be beaten down are still sitting on their high horses counting their money and thinking out how to pile up more money, more expensive houses, cars, private jets?

As Barry Mcguire sang in 1965:

"Don't you understand what I'm tryin' to say
Can't you feel the fears I'm feelin' today?
If the button is pushed, there's no runnin' away
There'll be no one to save, with the world in a grave
[Take a look around ya boy, it's bound to scare ya boy]

But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve
of destruction."
- (Eve of Destruction, written by P.F Sloan in 1965)

It feels like we're getting there, each day another step towards
destruction.



Svenska:
Val 2010

Jag kan inte låta bli att undra över om det är så att folk idag har en så dystopisk känsla av undergång att de helt enkelt inte orkar bry sig.

Världen håller på att gå åt helvete ändå, så varför bry sig om vad som händer i framtiden? Varför göra ett aktivt val som gynnar inte bara en själv utan även eventuella nästkommande generationer? Varför orka läsa på? Varför orka engagera sig på något sätt?

Så länge jag har pengar i min börs och kan köpa den senaste tekniken (som ändå kommer gå sönder just efter att garantin gått ut) så är allt väl i min värld. Vad bryr jag mig om att sjukvården blir dyrare? Att fler och fler går arbetslösa och knappt har råd att äta eller betala sin hyra? Folket, vi som ska vara ansvariga för vårt samhälle, överlämnar alla beslut åt politikerna, sväljer glatt de vackra vallöftena som alla vet kommer att brytas så fort valet är över.

Jag har länge känt att det skulle behövas ett totalt generationsskifte i politiker-Sverige. De som i år ställer upp i valet, de som lovar runt och alltid håller tunt, är så världsfrånvända och ointresserade av något annat än sin egen ekonomi och bekvämlighet att jag har svårt att se hur de någonsin skulle kunna göra något för det folk som röstar på dem. De har ingen koll på vad som sker i samhället och representerar gamla, utdaterade värderingar i putsade och ytligt hoplappade former.

Folket som röstar på dem är så avtrubbade, så obrydda och så bekväma att de bara rycker på axlarna och sväljer det som syns på ytan. Förförda av fantasin om att kunna bli som det USA man ser på TV, i filmerna, orkar de inte reflektera över skillnaderna mellan lilla Sverige och USA. De vänder bort blicken för alla de brister som finns där, klart belysta av verklighetens osmickrande ljus, och stänger in sig i sin egen lilla bubbla där allt som räknas är en själv och huruvida man kommer att ha en extra hundralapp i börsen vid löning.

Den hundralappen, förresten... Den hade kunnat gå till sjukvård, bättre skola, bättre vård av de äldre... Men varför ska de ha mina pengar?

Varför ska jag få mindre pengar bara för att någon annan ska få ett åtminstone halvvägs värdigt liv, slippa frysa ihjäl i en kartong på nån bakgata eller förblöda i väntrummet till akuten bara för att det inte finns pengar för tillräckligt med personal?

Varför ska jag bry mig om Svea, 95, som spenderar dagarna i en säng på pensionärshemmet med liggsår och blöja för att personalen helt enkelt inte hinner med att hjälpa henne till toaletten eller ta med henne ut i luften för ens en halvtimme? Svea som knappt minns hur det kändes att få sitta i en stol i trädgården en vacker sommardag eller äta vällagad mat tills hon är mätt?

Jag kan verkligen inte förstå hur folk kan vara så själviska, leva kvar i gamla föreställningar och fortfarande tro att politikerna tänker på folkets bästa. Vi kan inte längre sitta i våra soffor, blippa på fjärrkontrollen och tro att våra politiker är där för att fatta våra beslut.

Det är på tiden att vi, det svenska folket, vi som ska rösta nu i september, börjar ställa krav på våra politiker och på oss själva. Så att vi kanske, förhoppningsvis inte själva en dag behöver glömma känslan av hur det kändes den där dagen när vi satt barfota i gräset med solen som sken varmt ovanför våra huvuden.

lördag 21 augusti 2010

Happy days are here?

I had started to believe I would never get to say this but... my thesis is finally COMPLETED! Now all that's left is to get the critique for it, make any necessary adjustments and then... burn it and move on.

I took myself by the scruff and pulled a 2-day-1-night intensive session on writing the thesis. All in all I believe I slept about 3 hours in 2 full days. And as soon as the thesis was mailed out to those that were supposed to have it I crashed and then I slept like a log, blissfully unaware of the world around. Of course I just had to wake up in the middle of the night and be reminded I had barely eaten anything in two days either. But hey, them's the breaks, eh?

Of course, I have a few smaller assignments I've yet to turn in. But they're not related to the thesis and they should be fairly quickly done with as soon as I recover from post-thesis stress (which is an affliction closely related to posttraumatic stress. Only difference is the former usually only affects students of various degree and, much like the flu, strike during set seasons of the year.

Now I'm looking forward to my graphics classes this fall and then I'm hoping against hope (and dreading at the same time) that I'll get a job at the news desk I worked at this summer. We'll see... Wish me luck!

Speaking about stress, by the way. We've got election coming up in a few weeks. I don't think I've ever felt this nauseatingly nervous and worried as this time around. The previous election blind-sided, mind-raped and left me in an emotionally torn, quivering bundle of despair and terror, able to say nothing but:

"Why, dear lord, have you forsaken us?! How could they be so stupid as to vote in a way that made those guys win?!"