Musings from the padded room

lördag 1 maj 2010

The Filial daughter or "How to drive Cat crazy in less than 2 days"

At the moment I'm visiting my parents in the capitol of Sweden, Stockholm (also known as the Hellish pit of overly stressed and rude idiots).

After retrieving my car, which is obviously possessed by the Devil and/or operated through a Windows-based system considering the amount of times it breaks down, from the workshop I felt slightly queasy because of the chilling knowledge that my car would once again cost a fortune to repair. I then packed my bags and drove that same car, with bad brakes on the back wheels, on an 8 hour drive from Umeå to Stockholm. It was nice as long as I could still consider myself being in Norrland. But as soon as I passed a city called Hudiksvall I could feel myself leaving the premises of said region and instead be enveloped by the atmosphere of the southern parts of Sweden. It is hard to describe that atmosphere but I will try my best.

Imagine you're having the worst hangover of your life, you've just woken up next to someone you have no idea who it is, or if it's a man, woman or Chewbacca, and whom you would've been better never having to lay your eyes upon in the first place. Then imagine that while you're lying there, wondering what train drove into your head at full speed (in the process obviously smashing certain vital parts of the facial appearance of whoever it is sleeping next to you), you realise you forgot to turn the sound off your cellphone. As is demonstrated by the sudden slicing pain (similar to undergoing a bypass surgery without anesthesia) of a tone you usually quite like cutting through your pounding head ache and self-loathing.

And when you pick up... It's your mother on the other end. Nagging at you because you forgot that you promised to drive her to her very important meeting. And she nags... and nags... and nags until you start to picture your hands slowly wrapping around her neck, seeing her face turn bluer and bluer. And when she finally hangs up...

Your grandmother calls. And nags at you because you forgot to drive your mother to her very important meeting. Repeat the strangulation scene. Substitute mother for grandmother. Hang up.

And then that creature next to you wakes up, thanking you for a great night, wondering if you'll be meeting again and if you wanna cuddle for a while. And so on. You realise you are really late for work... and stinking like that alcoholic over by the town square. So now you're full of self-loathing, annoyance, anger, murderous thoughts, bad conscience and top that off with stress x 100... Imagine all this and then multiply it all with 10... and you'll come fairly close to what I felt when I came closer and closer to the Hellish Pit called the capitol of Sweden, Stockholm.

Then top all of that off with realising that your parents' computer is slower than a turtle with only one leg and eyes full of cataracts...

Yeah, great, isn't it?

But at least I get to meet up with some old friends I haven't seen for years. And hopefully I'll get something nice for my exam project. So I'm going to live in the hopes that a week isn't very long, I'll be busy most days... and in the evenings I can lock the door to my room and catch up on all those homoerotic novels I've never quite had the time to read.

1 kommentar:

  1. Know something. Sometimes I think you are thinking, analysing everything too much.Just be glad there IS a computer to use. Turtle or not.:)